men are idiots. here's why:
so last night i told a certain someone how i truly felt about him. i was shy and scared. he could tell i was giddy as well. but he told me to spit it out. i told him that i didn't want to happen what had happened last time (for those of you who may not know, he ran away and hid because he was scared). i told him that i like him and that i just don't want to lose him again.
then came the scary part. he said he knew that i liked him (it's a little obvious, i guess). but then he said he doesn't like me romantically like i like him. of course. of fucking course. he said he just wants to be friends. i guess right now i can only hope that we become good enough friends that something might come along later.
but i feel crushed. hurt. lonely. above all, lonely. it's the worst feeling in the world. i feel like i'm doing something right, that i'm not setting myself up again, but i am. yes, this feels very right, but i am setting myself up for heartbreak again. i do this every time. every bloody time. why? who knows? i'm tired of being alone. 23 years of lonliness starts to get to you. not like this is incredibly important, but there comes a point when your hand just doesn't cut it anymore. more importantly, however, is the fact that the time has come when, sitting alone, single, at a bar surrounded by couples, or watching friends enjoy relationships and brag about them, has become deadly sickening and terribly frustrating. i want to take a special someone out on dates. i want to cuddle and watch a movie. i want to hold his hand, hug him, and make him feel as special and he'll make me feel. the time has come for me to no longer be lonely, abandoned, hurt, or forgotten about. the time has come for me to no longer be single. it's time for somebody to make me feel appreciated and loved beyond a friendship.
who is man enough to take on this responsibility, this daunting task?
who is man enough to me a real man?
