I deserve happiness, too.

So I haven’t written in a while, and I figured I’d use my sick day off to give an update. A lot has been going on lately. Well, not really, but there is a lot with a certain someone.

Let’s look back a bit:

October 4, 2007
I started talking to this guy named Justin online. I had known his ex-boyfriend, Nathan, and saw him online, so I figured I’d make a new friend. After several hours of talking, I realized that I had met one of the world’s most rare men ever.
He’s an architect.
A father of three beautiful children.
A cancer survivor.

This man has more conviction in one moment, one memory. His heart is made of gold, his soul is as pure as an angel.

He’s funny.
He’s original.
He’s unique and different and genuine.

When I volunteered to babysit for him while he’s out on his hot dates, he then asked me if I was going to be his hot date; I asked if he was asking me out, and he said, “maybe.” Next, he genuinely expressed concern for my health when he found out I was a smoker. I have since quit smoking.

Fast forward about a week and a half.
I’m falling.
Again.
We all know how badly situations like this turn out.
I’m going to get my heart crushed. It’s soon going to be ripped from my chest, stomped on, and thrown into the blender.

This afternoon, we were talking. He said that he’s not sure that I even want to date him. When I asked him about it, he said he has issues, baggage.

Duh. Who doesn’t?

I told him that I am willing and ready to accept him for him, every little thing, every piece of baggage. I told him that I understand he has problems, we all do. And I told him I’m here to stand by his side through thick and thin. I know I’m not financially independent yet, but I’m willing to be everything he and the kids need.





I guess the most important thing I’m feeling here is that it’s my turn. I’ve found an amazing guy, and I’d like to date him, I’d like to be part of his life. It’s my turn to be happy! Have I not sat patiently through crushing letdown after letdown? Have I not been alone for the past 23 years? Have I not endured enough pain in being hurt?

I’m the kind of guy who gives my all.
When I appreciate you, I appreciate you with my whole being.
When I care about you, I care with my whole soul.
When I love you, I love you with all my heart.

It’s my turn to find love. It’s my turn to have happiness. It’s my turn to smile, and make memories, and cuddle, and smile, and BE HAPPY!

IT’S MY TURN TO HAVE HAPPINESS!



This blog isn’t what I wanted it to be… I’m ending this.